Outta the fucking dorm...

And hopefully back into the real world.

Sitting here in the Holiday Inn with my pal Jose. He helped me clean and pack my dorm room yesterday so I'm treating him to my post-moveout ritual of Holiday Inn-goodness (and that he saved me over 100 dollars in check-out fees so I really DO owe him).

And this begins the summer of stand-up!!! I need a logo for that or something. The next time I go up will by my seventh time. And yeah. I keep counting. So far, everyone still applauds when I say which time it is. Heartland was close to not applauding but still. There's this weird appropriate but noticable level of apprehension when it comes to performing... or thinking about performing. It's not keeping me from going up (yet).

Right now I'm attributing it to the stress of moving, end of the school year, and getting spat upon by Residence Life again.

Here's a treatment of the situation.

Young girl who's getting her second chance in life wants to help the new generation of students, etc. get started in the big city. Using her super powers of empathy and self-deprication, she ascends to a decent social rank and is generally liked by all kinds of people. Although cursed with low self-esteem, depression and anxiety, she is perceived as "abbrassive" and "abrupt" by members of her school's administration and called a "fat bitch" by a homeless man. Still, she goes on blowing bubbles out in the front of the dorm and giving out chocolate chip cookies to strangers. Finally she believes to be accepted into a short term position of SPA (half resident advisor/customer service rep... another job in which she is the QUEEN OF!) only to be turned down and given an application for office assistant

I posed to my friends these three options of the kind of person I am:

1) Stupid socially-inept fat girl who gets repeatedly rejected by the popular crowd and never "gets" the fact of who she is.
2) Overly qualified woman who sells herself so short that she keeps trying for the attention of people who aren't worth the trouble.
3) The first fat girl who's deluding herself into thinking she's the second.

Okay, fine. There's the fourth option:

4) Second person whose low self-esteem chooses to show itself when making useless numbered lists and thinks she's the first person.

They wouldn't answer me.

Watching "Heroes" at the moment. I love Greg Grunberg. Have since "Alias" and still do.

Oooh! Law and Order: CI is next! Vincent Dinofrio is also a love.