Intention: I feel good about myself. I am open to myself. I am honest and open to others. I am present in the moment with those around me. I feel good about my progress. I am accepting of others and myself.
Stomach: Blah blah blah. This isn't about me anymore. I'm fine. Just keep giving me food of some sort whenever I want it and I'll be fine. Talk to brain. Brain is pissed off.
Brain: WHAT THE FUCK??? IT'S ALMOST BEEN THREE WEEKS. SHOULDN'T WE BE A DIFFERENT PERSON BY NOW? SHOULDN'T WE BE GETTING COMPLETELY ALL NEW CLOTHES AND PEOPLE WHO DIDN'T PAY ATTENTION TO US ARE GOING TO START PAYING ATTENTION AND WE'RE GONNA GET COMPLIMENTS FROM EVERYONE AND GET LAID A LOT. WE SHOULD BE LOVED BY NOW! WE SHOULD BE POPULAR AND GETTING ATTENTION FROM LOTS OF PEOPLE NOW!!! I MEAN, ALMOST THREE WEEKS??? FOR FUCKS SAKE! THAT'S LONGER THAN WE'VE DONE ANYTHING LIKE THIS!!! WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH US THAT WE DON'T FEEL LIKE A DIFFERENT PERSON? THAT WE AREN'T ALREADY A DIFFERENT PERSON!!!???!!! We want food. We want to be happy. We want to be loved. We want to make out with somebody. We want someone to be with us. Shouldn't 19 days of this be good enough?
Me: That's why this is more process-based weight loss. Not about the product or end result.
Brain: THAT'S STUPID ART THERAPY KIND OF SHIT. STUPID STUFF WE LEARN FOR OPEN STUDIO AND THAT MAKES US FEEL GOOD ABOUT ART AND OTHER THINGS IN OUR LIFE. BUT THIS IS DIFFERENT!!!
Me: How is it different?
Brain: IT JUST IS!!! ::kicking dirt:: I mean, we never dated in high school and we... we just feel really empty. We WANT to be that person who can't be alone and without a boyfriend. We ARE that person... just an unsuccessful person like that who CAN'T get a boyfriend all the time.
Me: I know this is hard.
Brain: NO YOU DON'T!!!
Me: I'm here with all this too, dude.
Brain: We're done talking. Do something fun for us tonight. 'Cause all we want to do is sleep and "scratch that itch." We don't want to think. We're done.
Me: I don't know how much I can do of that.
Brain: Well, WE'RE DONE!
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1 comment:
I had this comment to leave about the things your brain was saying and stuff but then I was distracted by something else and now I've forgotten what it was.
maybe it was that you don't need to be co-dependant. Maybe you think you ought to be as such but in reality, you're not that kind of person.
I don't know.
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