Intention: I remain safe and secure in who I am and where I am. I embrace change and realize that all things are temporary and to enjoy what comes. I do what I can in regards to things I can do something about. I prepare and learn and breathe. I breathe. I breathe. I breathe.
Stomach says: Cauliflower gives us gas. At least we think so. But actually, we're doing okay. Kinda hungry sometimes and still getting used to feeling this way: healthier. Not so focused on sugar and fat. Though.... WE DO WANT SOME! AND FUCKING SOON!
Brain says: WHAT ARE WE SUPPOSED TO DO IF WE CAN'T EAT!!!?????!!!!! THAT'S WHAT WE DO FOR PLEASURE AND FOR STRESS RELEASE!!!! WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO DO TO US? WE HAVE TO PLAN ALL THESE MEALS AND WORK OUT AND FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE AND CHANGE AND ::begins to hyperventilate:: AND... AND... WE WANT MACARONI SALAD! GODDAMNIT!!! WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU??? CHANGE IS BAD! BAD! BAD! BAD! YOU WANT TO DO THIS DURATIONAL ART PROJECT WITH CANVAS AND WEIGHT LOSS AND PROCESS-BASED SHIT? WE CAN'T DO THAT!!! YOU SUDDENLY WANT ALL OUR DUCKS IN A ROW??? NOT. GOING. TO. HAPPEN. HASN'T HAPPENED IN TEN YEARS OF COLLEGE AND NOW YOU EXPECT TO GRADUATE AND GO TO GRAD SCHOOL AND HAVE A CAREER AND A LIFE??? WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO DO TO US??? TRYING TO MAKE US GROW? WHAT? YOU DON'T LIKE US THE WAY WE ARE? OH, I SEE HOW IT GOES. YOU'RE A FAIR WEATHER FRIEND TO YOUR BRAIN AND BODY. WELL FUCK YOU.
BUT YOU'RE GONNA MAKE US DO THIS ANYWAYS, HUH? WELL I'M GONNA MAKE IT FUCKING DIFFICULT. I WANT FOOD. I WANT CIGARETTES. YOU TAKE AWAY CRAPPY FOOD AS A COMFORT AND WE'RE GONNA WANT DIET MOUNTAIN DEW AND CIGARETTES. AND LOTS OF THEM. YES, CELERY IS GOOD AND WE ENJOY CAULIFLOWER. BUT...
Fine. What can we do to make this work? We listed some of our demands. Yeah, we understand that there is more to focus on then food and when it's going to come. And yeah, we're a little stressed from pms and from not spending as much time with ______. We're feeling kinda lonely. Okay, REALLY lonely. You're taking away all these things from us and it's hard to take. Add some things for us. Please? Some fun stuff. Yeah, exercise is kinda fun... spaced out through the day. And yeah, we kinda like this blogging thing and taking more time for the In-One-Ear myspace page. Do some more writing, though! Let's figure out more of the reason that we're doing this. Let's figure it out and as we're figuring it out, we'll be writing and not eating. Which is what you're trying to get us to do anyways.
Go get your cauliflower. It's probably done by now.
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1 comment:
You're gorgeous Kristin. I wish you knew that. You also have an amazing spirit, and you're a genius too.
However, healthy is healthy, and your efforts will only bring you great rewards. I believe in you.
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