Day 4 of thing

Intention: I remain focused. I have energy. I am doing this. I follow-through. I am changing.

Part of the intention thing is to not use the words "want" or "need," forming each sentence like the action or event is already happening (this explanation is brought to you by me not wanting my bad mood to be misunderstood).

Walked to Pete's from Open Studio Project last night. 35 minute walk or so. Did NOT drink at the In-One-Ear open mic which is good... and was very different. Made some nice work though at my "art table."

When I got back to the residence hall, I walked up the 12 flights to my room. So it's not exactly 60 or whatever minutes of exercise but... friggin' deal (I'm saying this to myself).

Going to try to go on more walks and continue the stairs thing. Need to buy a pedometer and really need a boost in my confidence and dedication to doing this.

Stomach says: ::YAWN:: What? Yeah, whatever. You promised us some sugar and fat. NO, you didn't SPECIFY when you would give it to us. NO, we don't feel hungry (though we do want some celery. NOW!) We actually didn't feel that much desire or pressure to eat the cupcakes and things while at the Evanston High School thing yesterday. It's kinda surprising for us. It also feels like you're CONSTANTLY making us eat;. Which... yeah, we normally like that but now you're feeding us stuff that we actually have to WORK to digest. That's.... different. Can we have something with sugar in it today? Or soon? Or sometime? Okay fine... just treat us to something nice. We've been good.

Brain says: IS THIS OVER YET? Really. You think we can do this? Anything you do lasts three days and then stops. Wanna know why? 'Cause we heard that "Do something three times in a row and it becomes a habit" and wanted to prove it WRONG. HA! Yeah. Take THAT.

Me: Brain, why are you so hostile towards me and this change/project?

Brain says: Different. BAD.

Me: You've got more than that. I read yesterday's post. You've DEFINITELY got more than that.

Brain says: Make some piece of art that depicts me. Post it in front of the computer or whatever and then we'll talk more. That LARGER conversation is what this is all about. Why we and you haven't lost weight or gotten seriously healthy since moving to Montana.

Me: Can we agree to stick to the plan for today? You like structure. Remember?

Brain says: Fine. Just keep us busy by reading or writing or whatever. And MAKE THAT PIECE OF ART DAMNIT!