You had better do what you were told. You better listen to the radio.

My heaven would be full of Elvis Costello songs.

Radio and things related.

A little while ago, Joe from 24 the Podcast forwarded me an invite to a party put on by Red Bar Radio out of Chicago. He's been a huge fan of the the radio show which is in the process of getting put up on the bird (syndiction... at least as far as I hear on the Marc Maron Show) and he knows I'm in Chicago.

I went 'cause there were free drinks and because my therapist agreed that I should get out some. :)

The party was for the celebration of syndication. I awkwardly tried to fit in. When I arrived, I had an assumption that Joe (from 24 the Podcast) knew the host, Mike D. He had raved about him and... well, he loves Red Bar Radio. Since that's my ONLY connection to this show, I introduce myself to people mentioning Joe. And what do I soon find...

No one knows who the hell Joe is besides Mike asking me if Joe's over 20 (yes, and with a wife and kids).

Awkward!

The party ended up alright. I'm not exactly the type of person to party. More the wallflower who's making keen observations about the crowd resulting in snickering through the night in some corner. Or yelling quotes from Sarah Vowell books at the top of my lungs (Ah, the memories). Chatted up the comedian/musician Nice Peter (seriously his name) and threw myself into a few conversations.

I've got this weird complex. Yeah, that's to be expected. But the complex works so much better while drunk: I'm either very smart and have good ideas or I'm drunk.

The non-drunk part is: I'm either smart and know some things or I'm delusional.

See, the drunk complex is better.

Anyways, with a few e-mails back and forth during the past 3 weeks it looks like I'm going to be interning for Red Bar Radio. Not an official internship through my school because that takes effort from me and involves ME paying to WORK for someone else. It's Wednesday and Saturday nights and the show's kinda like a morning show. The pace and.... And I've just realized that I've only listened to one morning show in my entire life: Air America's Morning Sedition.

SO, there's not really a valid comparison in my head. But I'm gonna do it. Intimidates me a bit. Scares me a bit. Strangely impresses my father more than everything I've ever done on MY OWN... and he won't know any better since he won't listen to the show. There's probably something good on CSPAN or the History Channel for him to yell at when it's on. And my mom or brother? I'm 99.999999999% sure they've NEVER read this blog so I think it's certain no one of any blood relation will listen.

It's a thing to put on a resume. It's a thing to do on Wednesday and Saturday nights. It's a thing to do that pertains to NEARLY all of my hard-core interests. So there you go.

The only element that creates the hesitation in my tone? Personality. I've got a personality that some say is exhausting (I like to think they mean it in a good way) but it takes a bit to find my groove or my "stereotype" slot to fill. Radio personalities... those are the Dip Stick sugar-pouches of society. That's... uh.... that's intimidating. Especially for a girl who used to have a stutter (and still thinks she does deep down in the dark corners of her mind).

Besides, radio is all about personality. So does failing at radio mean your personality and therefore YOU are a failure too?

Oh yeah. I'm going into this OP-TIM-IS-TIC!

This just came through today so that's why the anxiety's at the forefront of my thoughts. It IS an experience that will be good. I know that (repeating THAT phrase in my head a million times).