CSI: Miami SECRET ENDING

First, this extra scene is just a huge hand job for Hummer. Yes. Hand job. Because the other sexual move is just WAY too obvious.

Second, I find this actor hot. Quite hot.

Third, does David Caruso get a crick in his neck from looking at things from a 45 degree angle all the time?

Summary and transcript after the jump.



Alright! We're watching this from the back seat of a HUMMER so of course we're FIRST going to have...

A commercial!

HUMMER driving with subway. HUMMER in city. HUMMER in mountains. HUMMER in rocky terrain. HUMMER in SPACE!

Now back to the show.

Typical aerial shots of Miami.

The Ryan's walking in the lab, gets a text message, answers it and smiles.

Cut to the beach with a pretty lady and a HUGE RED HUMMER.
Scene starts behind the HUMMER to show them talking in front.
(Note: The HUMMER IS ALWAYS IN THE SHOT!)

First line- Ryan: Nice wheels, Sikes.
Sikes: Blends in with the CSI's trucks.
Ryan: Erica Sikes, always thinking. Your text said urgent. Where's the body?
Sikes: There is no body.
Hot guy: Oh I get it. I'm being "punk'd"
Sikes: No tricks. No games. No interview. This is strictly off the record. And what I tell you could ruin my career.
Ryan: I didn't think that was possible for a journalist.
Sikes: Journalists' have the habit of giving away their sources, Ryan. Especially when their sources are critcal of their subject.
Ryan: Me? Someone's critical of me?
Sikes: The entire Miami Crime Lab.
Ryan: Oh that's interesting. But you know what? I don't really care what a bunch of outsiders have to say about us.
Sikes: How about an insider?
Ryan: A mole. We have a mole?
SIkes: You do.
Ryan: Do I know them?
SIkes: Know and trust. You all do.
Ryan: Is that what you were trying to tell me at the bank?
SIkes: Right.
Ryan: Is that why Horatio wanted me to talk to you.
SIkes: Right again.
Ryan: You tell him?
SIkes: I think he already knew.
Ryan: God. Okay. Alright. What happens next? What do I do now?
Sikes: You're a smart guy. You'll figure something out.

Shot of SIkes getting into the Hummer. Starts the HUMMER. Pulls out with the back of the HUMMER in the foreground. The HUMMER drives around Ryan in all of it's HUMMERY goodness.

Shot STARTING WITH A CLOSE UP OF THE HUMMER LOGO ON THE EXTRA WHEEL IN BACK pulling back to reveal the HUMMER driving into the ocean hopefully.

Shot of the HUMMER passing Ryan in the foreground. He kicks the dirt.

Urban town: Monster! Godzilla-like thing (careful of the copyright infringement!) smashes buildings. GODZILLA- I mean FROGZILLA MAD!!! Frogzilla meet Robot (looking kinda like Iron Giant). They hold hands and sit next to a bridge looking out into space. Apparently they have sex because Frogzilla is pregnant and Robot bends down to feel the baby kick. Oh Look! Frogzilla and Robot are happy parents! Parents to a BOUNCY RED HUMMER which they send driving down the road since it obviously knows better than to hang around with God...FROGZILLA and a huge Robot.

So there's a mole? Hmm, wonder who that could be? Gee. Maybe it's a red herring but... whatever.

Gotta go now. Have this strange urge to go either to some guy's room and make him unzip his pants or try CARFAX.com. Hmm. Tough decision.