While everybody else was sun-bathing and having some nice clean water (and being attacked by monsters or abducted by strange island men), the Tallies were having a grand ol' time.More after the jump...
DAY 1: Ana Lucia knows CPR and saves a young girl (who has a brother with a teddy bear). Mistereko swims out to bring in all the dead bodies. So far we've got Goodwin who eventually meets some horrible end. And look at that, Ana Lucia IS a good leader getting Bernard down from the tree so calmly. I saw Cindy emerge from the ocean. I did not see Libby. She's here but I didn't see her come out of the crash.
Creepy nighttime! Someone's getting attacked. Cindy's watching the kids.
Mistereko bathed in blood?!?!?!?
COMMERCIAL: That guy needs Advil.
THAT NIGHT: Mistereko killed two of THE OTHERS! Now he's got a big stick. That's Dr. Mike from "Ed"!!! As Nathan. Ooh, Cindy's telling everybody that the rescue parties don't know where to look. And there are already 3 people missing.
DAY 5: Bury another dead guy. There might be 8 graves. Hmm.
DAY 7 (?): Play CHASE THE CHICKEN! Libby's talking to Mistereko who is playing the mute game. He's also carving something in his stick which according to producers has some kind of signifigance.
DAY 12: Makin' weapons! Brother and sister are playing. Sweet. Dr. Mike's back. He broke the buddy rule of bathroom breaks. Ana Lucia no likey.
THAT NIGHT: CREEPY!!! The OTHERS!!! Grabbed the kids and another few. Ana Luciia runs to stop them and gets sacked by one of them. It's a woman with a knife in her pocket and A LIST!!! A List of what you ask? OF THEM. Their names, clothing descriptions, EVERYTHING!!!
COMMERCIAL: Hmmm. Nestle Tollhouse Morsels. And Sirius radio. Give it as a gift! It's the gift that keeps on taking! I fucking hate this T-Mobile commercial with the talkative cheerleader. AND another damn secret scene on Good Morning America. DAMNIT!
LATER THAT NIGHT: 9 people dragged into the jungle with no sign of them. And Mistereko is still playing mute. Now Ana Lucia's playing cop, interrogating Dr. Mike. LIBBY IS THE ONE WHO SAYS THEY NEED TO LEAVE THE BEACH!!! And the first one to talk after Bernard says infiltrating the group would be ridiculous. Hmm...do I smell plant?
DAY 15: Been walking for 3 days and Dr. Mike wants to set up camp.
DAY 17: Libby again. Talking to Ana Lucia, asking about Dr. Mike, SLYLY SUGGESTING THAT DR. MIKE MIGHT BE THE ONE!!!
DAY 19: Setting rabbit traps. Kick to the FACE!!! Ana Lucia puts Dr. Mike in the cage! Ana Lucia, Cindy, and Libby all say they didn't see him on the plane. Libby goes further saying that he never answers her questions about himself. We're talkin' in the hole. This is the same hole that the rafties were in. Nathan's from Canada. He was in Australia for a business thing.
DAY 23: She's STILL ASKING THE SAME QUESTION!!! "Where are the kids?" She's interrogating him and Mistereko gave him food. Ana Lucia NO LIKEY!!! They're saying that it was Dr. Mike's idea to stay at the beach. Yeah, but it was also his idea to camp by the stream too. Goodwin's talking to Ana Lucia. She has no kids, but she said it reluctantly. He's the Jack of the group. "We're not savages, Ana."
THAT NIGHT DAY 23: Goodwin gets Dr. Mike out of the hole! He's worried about Ana Lucia's state of mind. That she might hurt him. Dr. Mike heads to the beach...HOLY SHIT!!! GOODWIN just snapped Dr. Mike's FRIGGIN' NECK!!!
COMMERCIAL: Garth Brooks, feh. I'm awaiting the come back of Chris Gaines. Oh yeah.
DAY 24: Ana Lucia wakes up next to Goodwin looking at her. Oh-kay. Cindy runs up to tell them Dr. Mike is gone. Goodwin is silent.
DAY 26: Time to move. More walking and look at that. ANOTHER BEACH.
DAY 27: THEY FIND THE BACK DOOR TO THE STATION!!! Mistereko goes to check it out. QUARANTINE printed on the inside of the door. DHARMA icon with an ARROW pointing up in the middle. And they've got power. Opening up a box and inside: A Bible, a glass eye (WTF!), and a radio like Sayid had. Goodwin tells them that they need to go to higher ground to use it. He wants to go alone but NO WAY. Ana Lucia joins him.
AL: Why are they doing this?
Goodwin: Maybe they're not attacking us.
Sitting down for a break. GOODWIN ASKS FOR THE KNIFE...to cut a mango. But STILL. She asks how the OTHERS got an Army Knife. It's U.S. military. Probably 20 years old.
AL: When you ran out of the jungle the day of the crash, how did you hear Bernard yelling from the tree?
Goodwin: I heard him from the beach.
HOLY SHIT! SHE KNOWS IT'S HIM! He ran out of the jungle! He was never wet! She KNOWS! She asks the question.
Goodwin: Nathan was not a good person. That's why he wasn't on the list.
Goodwin (on the kids): The children are fine. They're better off now.
FIGHTING!!!! STICK THROUGH THE CHEST WITH A TWIST!!!
Back at camp. No reply to "Where's Goodwin?"
DAY 41: Bernard's messing with the battery. IT'S BOONE! ON THE RADIO! "WE'RE THE SURVIVORS OF FLIGHT 815!" Ana Lucia turns off the radio. Says Boone's voice was the Others. Trying to lure them out.
AL: This is our life now. Get used to it.
Ana Lucia sad. Crying by the stream. Well, her face looks like it's crying. Mistereko stands behind her. He finally speaks.
AL: You've been waiting 40 days to talk?
Mistereko: You've been waiting 40 days to cry.
COMMERCIAL: I'm not going to watch Invasion.
DAY 45: They find Jin on the beach. Tied up. Mistereko asks questions. He's uh..Korean. Now he runs to the other guys! And we're where we were in episode 2. MONTAGE!!! The boys getting attacked and thrown in. Ana Lucia going in, getting the gun, etc.
DAY 46: Take the boys out of the hole. Bring them into the station.
DAY 47: Walking...blah. MONTAGE AFTER MONTAGE with booming and clanking music.
DAY 48: TODAY. Cindy is lost. The whispers begin! ANA LUCIA SHOOTS SHANNON! From far away. Her face is in shock. MONTAGE of the end of last week's episode. And then...
LOST
Special extended episode MY ASS! That was just a lame ass excuse for more ad space.
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